Right now, this is my main priority: to make us work. I know, there's no exact formula and there are so many factors involved that it's not possible to generalize. There are so many failed cases, hearts broken, and investments going down the drain.

But one thing I'm sure which is going for us: we both love the CHALLENGE! I, myself has always been a fighter, standing up against the odds, and an inborn romantic. On his part, I can see loyalty, a value which is lost in most guys, nowadays.

Would that be enough to make this work?

Just a preview on how difficult it can be: First of all, we're not gon'na be with each other for years. I don't know the precise time frame, except that it's at least 3 years. It's a marathon, and the truth is we arent' even at the starting line. We can meet up 2-3 times a year, hopefully 4, once he can more day offs, but that's all the physicality we can get. Then we're gonna be separated by a 7/8-hour time difference, with me on the lagging side, this time. Which means, his day has already ended and I will still be in school or so. (But I guess, me lagging behind is much more ideal than the other way around.)

We can talk on the phone and hopefully take advantage of our generation's technology, but of course it can be pretty frustrating not having your lover beside you when you needed him. You can grow apart from each other, and people can change easily in an instant. What if he gets very busy that he doesn't have time to call, which is likely what's gonna happen?

Another thing working against us is our significant cultural differences. It's hard enough to on a Long Distance Relationship. Now, add the twist of religion and language and ... Plus, make it everything a whirlwind romance!!

God! It seems like the odds are not favorable for us. I get tired just thinking about it. Like, there's really no way to make it easier unless to just give up. Perhaps, move on to another one before we get into deep with each other.

It's true, we love each other so much. We are crazy enough to even give this a shot. Right now, we're approaching our 3rd month together. Not even the tip of the iceberd and we are already having our share of petty problems.

The good thing: he's always positive-sounding and I'm the pessimist. He's realistic and I'm the romantic. He's the stable one and I'm more of a drifter. Sometimes he's too practical, sometimes too idealist. Sometimes I'm too practical, sometimes too idealist. I guess, we compliment each other, pretty well. Like Yin and Yang. We complete each other. We make each other happy. We derive strength from one another. Perhaps, we're really destined for each other.

It just has to be quite difficult because fate knows that we can handle it? Maybe, just maybe...

Currently listening to: The greatest love of all
Currently watching: Lovely Complex
Currently feeling: ecstatic

wow, i can't wait to see him again. i've already been fantasizing about the next holiday. really can't wait, but i have to be patient.

it sucks that he can't come visit me here in the P.I. because (sic) visa complications. i cannot believe how stupid my country is. they imposed a certain 4-month validity of Japanese visa for foreigners in Japan. it's not as if someone who actually want to live illegally in this country. and not as if someone who be willing to give up a stay in Japan to work here. and not as if there are jobs for non-nationals here?? Grrr!! i hate that rule!!!

but anyway, all i'm hoping for right now is that we can manage to meet again, somewhere else. which means, i have to travel once again. which means EXPENSES.

now, if i need money then i need to find a suitable job. luckily, call centers are very lenient on their acceptance right now. and hopefully i could land a no-strings-attached job easily.

but if i'm gonna be working then that means i won't be having plenty of free time anymore for personal improvement. well, the truth is i'm currently hooked with JDORAMA and reading books.

ok, just can't wait to see Mostafa again! i love him!

Currently listening to: nothing
Currently feeling: sleepy

For the first time in my life, I'm giving my all heart support to our National Team for Men's Basketball who will be competing in Tokushima, Japan from July 28 to August 5. The top 2 winners will get a chance to play in the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing next year (assuming that China will bag one of the slots).

It will be a tough task for our national team as they will be facing the powerhouse China, Jordan, and Iran on the elimination round for the group A. Only the top 2 teams will proceed to quarter finals.

I guess my main reason for my current surge of passion for my country i because of my Iranian boyfriend. I'm sure he doesn't care about basketball but he always jokingly belittle the Filipino people. In fact, during an indoor soccer tournament in Japan where the Pinoys square up against the Iranians, he mocked at how they beat us 16 goals to nil! He said how great the Persians are compared to Pinoys. On our defense, I reasoned out that in the Philippines, soccer is not really considered seriously because we are such a basketball-loving nation.

When I learned about this FIBA pre-Olympic qualifier with the Philippines pitted against Iran on the elimination time, I figure that it's time for revenge. I'm very much confident cause those damn (sic) Persians can't play hoops while we Pinoys have been religiously devoted to the game for decades. However, as I read through archives of the previous games of the national team, I realized that we were even beaten by Iran on some minor tournament last May.

It was such a pity considering that we are even allowing "aliens" to play for us, with the likes of Taulava, Pennissi, Seigle, Norwood, etc.. (On the other hand, this scheme of importing American and European rejects is not unique to the P.I., as those Middle Easterns have so many "John", "Michael" Muhammads, Mohammeds, and Ali's on their team already.)

I have nothing against Fil-Ams, as long as they're in the likes of Caguioa and Helterbrand who looks Filipino and can speak good Filipino. Young boys can relate to them quickly but I guess Pennissi will never be a representative of our country. I think, we should know where to draw the line and not allow this kind of debauchery.

Anyway, my point is that our team is already badly represented but still we cannot win against a country like Iran. Now, I guess something must really be wrong with our brand of basketball. Maybe, my boyfriend is right in saying that Pinoys are very lazy and has no penchant for non-individualistic sacrifices. Perhaps, we have been too much influenced and distorted by the Americans that we cannot have our own distinct identity and we are always contented to just copy what the Americans are doing. Like the fact that we love basketball because it's the American way. In spite of seeing our icons fail to dominate the world of basketball which they haughtily claimed they have invented, we still copy them.

Pinoys have been focusing too much on individual talents and selfish plays which is probably the main reason why Seigle and Caguioa got slots on the team. Well, I think a Mark Caguioa is like a Manu Ginobili for Argentina and so he we really needed him on the team, but Seigle should have been dispensable specially with him being hobbled by injuries throughout his career.

I wanted to give credit to the coaching staff for choosing Raymundo and Dela Cruz on the team, because I believe that that can really be good role players but someone like the guy Oberto from Argentina would have been more appropriate.  

Well, I guess there is no point arguing anymore about the roster selection because it's already been done and we can only hope that they can deliver in Japan this July. A key point is that the outside shooting of Hontiveros and Ritualo would click and the playmaking skills of Alapag would be sharper. If that's the case then Caguioa and Helterbrand can just outrun anyone from the land of Iran! Hey, that rhymes!!!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed; it would be such a blackeye if we're beaten by Iran. Oh no, anyone but Iran. 

-mG 

 

Currently listening to: My eyes adore you by Sam Milby
Currently reading: The Struggle For Iran
Currently feeling: a lil pissed with my bf

Sa totoo lang, mahal ko na si Fafa ko. Halos lahat naman kase ng hinahanap ko sa isang lalake ay nasa kanya. Kumbaga nga, ang wish ko lang dati ke Lord ay bigyan ako ng poging boypren; akalain ninyong hindi lang pogi ang makukuha ko, matalino pa, mayaman, may pangarap sa buhay at medyo mabait na rin.

Actually, hindi naman sa [medyo] yung kabaitan niya, sabihin na lang natin na ayokong magsalita ng tapos at magsisi sa huli. Basta, ok na si Fafa for me, wala na yata akong mahihiling pang iba, kahit na nga long distance relationship lang kame ngayon.

Kaya nga di ko inexpect na meron palang komplikasyon sa amin, na magiging problema pala yung pagiging Iranian niya. Noong una, pinagtatawanan ko lang, shempre di pa naman kame serious at that time. Para bang, sige tiga-Middle East at Muslim, kaya teroristang-terorista ang dating. At game naman siya sa mga ganong jokes. Minsan nga nagpapakilala siya sa mga tao, laging dinurugtong yung "from Iran.." tapos sasabihin ko, "Uyy, wag mo silang takutin, babe." 

Maganda ang chemistry namin. Walang boring na moments.Yung language barrier at cultural difference nga yung paraan namin para maging interesado sa isa't isa. Open-minded naman ako, ganon rin sha.

Akala ko ganon lang yun, as in alaskahan lang yung pagiging [AXIS of EVIL] niya. Di ko alam na malaki pala bearing noon sa kasalukuyang lipunan. Halimbawa, nahihirapan siyang kumuha ng visa, mapa-saang bansa man. Masakit para saken yun kase alam kong mabuti naman shang tao at wala namang alam yun sa nuclear technology; at sobrang strict nga niya sa pag-abide sa rules and regulation sa Japan, tapos di pa rin sha mabigyan ng working visa. Unfair eh. Kumbaga, kung yung mga Pinoy ay ayaw bigyan ng US Visa kase mahilig mag-TNT, pero parang mas masakit na paratang yung tawagin kang terorista. Kase naman, andame naman talagang Pinoy na nagi-illegal, pero ano naman bang alam ng isang average Iranian boy sa pagpapasabog ng building.

Akalain ninyo na maski visa para tourism sa Pinas eh di pa sha makakuha. Sabi ng kakilala ko sa DFA, kailangan pa ng notarized affidavit of support, approved by the RTC and DOJ bilang invitation letter niya. Grabe talaga!

Pero hindi lang yan ang kalbaryo ko. Kase seryoso naman talaga kame sa isa't isa. Kaya medyo iniisip ko na rin na siguro in a few years eh magpapakasal na rin kame. Sabi niya, kailangan ko raw mag-convert sa Islam. Ang sagot ko naman, shempre ayoko. Tapos, sabi niya, "Sige ka, di ka makakakuha ng Iranian passport.." Aba'y lintek, sino ba namang may sabi na gusto ko ng Iranian passport.

So, akala ko dati choice ko na wag kumuha ng Iranian passport. Yun pala eh nasa batas yun ng Iran. Kukumpiskahin ang Filipinas pasaporte ko at ika-cancel lahat ng visa. Oh, Diyos ko po!!!

Tapos, lately, eto pang si Yilmaz at Ruffa hiwalayan blues. Kaya tuloy lahat ng makaalam na Muslim ang boypren ko eh nakikisimpatiya na saken. Yun bang sa kabila ng lumiliwanag kong mga mata, eh sasabihan lang ako ng, "Someday, you'll find the right person." Grabe naman, di ba? Mahal ko na nga yung tao, baket ba di pwedeng i-consider ang isang tao beyond his citezenship.

Naalala ko nga yung sinabi ng kaibigan ko sa Japan. Maski daw ano pang cultural background ang pinanggalingan ng isang tao, wag nating i-underestimate ang free will. Kase in the end, pwede naman tayong gumawa ng mga desisyon na ayon sa nararamdaman natin. Hindi naman porket may strict culture ang isang bansa eh wala nang chance para mag-deviate dito. Nasa tao pa rin naman eh.

Halimbawa na lang yung nangyaring massacre sa Virginia Tech, hindi natin pwedeng sabihin nangyari yon dahil ganon ang kultura ng mga Koreans. Madali kaseng mag-generalize eh, in fact, human nature na nga siguro yun. Pero sa tingin ko ganon lang tayo kapag tinatamad tayong mag-isip. Kapag ayaw nating mag-analyze eh isisisi na lang natin sa kultura. Na komo Hapon eh laging on time; komo Intsik eh kuripot; komo Indian eh nagpa-5-6; komo Pinoy eh illegal; at komo tiga-Middle East eh terorista. Kahit pa daan-daang example ang maipakita mo sa ganon, eh lagi ka pa ring makakahanap ng counter-examples. May mga Hapon akong kilala na nale-late rin sa usapan. May mga Intsik na galante; maraming Pinoy ang legal professionals abroad; at meron rin namang Iranian na hindi terorista!!

Langya naman kaseng George Bush na yan, "Either you are with us, or you're with the terrorist!" Ang kitid ng utak, parang speech ng isang bobo. Kunsabagay, bobo naman yata yan.

Anyway, yoko ng politics na yan. Ang sa akin lang ay mahal ko ang boypren ko at kahit mahirap pa eh hindi ako susuko sa kanya. I trust my judgement naman on people. Sa tingin ko kaya naman naming mag-survive in spite of the odds. Isa pa, sanay naman ako sa extra challenge. Alam niyo namang ilang taon rin ang ginapang ko ke... [wala na akong time sa mga taong ganyan.]

Currently listening to: JLPT sample choukai
Currently reading: HP6
Currently feeling: sympathetic

picture this scenario:

I'm JOBLESS, my savings for 3 years is running dry, the peso is appreciating drastically, while the yen continues to plummet, and everyday all i do is go to the nearby mall to get a body massage.

it seems like i've been bumming in the P.I. for more than a year but when i check my calendar, it's only been just 6 weeks! Time surely drags in this island.

but in spite of all of these things, i've never been more positive and contented. i wouldn't want to trade places with anyone and i cannot even relate to the EMO music i've gulped down years ago.

i'm still the same person i was before except that NOW I HAVE SOMEONE. maybe, just maybe, that is the big difference.

"I love you, sweetie. and even if we can only see each other for 10 days a year, I would gladly spend the other 355 preparing for those precious 10."

Currently listening to: How to save a life by The FRAY
Currently reading: The lovely bones

In 6 weeks, I'm gonna be holding you once again.

In 6 weeks, I will be kissing you. 

In 6 weeks, we will be very happy.

In 6 weeks, we will be more in love with each other.

Not that I have ever stop loving you. Not for a moment have you left my mind.

In 6 weeks, we will be making new records.

In 6 weeks, we will be one.

Currently listening to: Truly, madly, deeply
Currently reading: visa entries of my passport
Currently feeling: can't wait to see my bf