Crush ko sha! Cute sha. Sana pumunta sha rito sa Tokyo.

Magde-date kame. Tulad na lang ni Romeo at Kitchie Nadal. May pag-asa kaya ako sa kanya? eh di ba

"He's already taken... he'S already taken.. me!"

Other story; the Upholding Purity Group

Bad trip talaga! Nabobohan ako sa sarili. Masyado akong naive at tanga. Feeling ko ngayon, yung nangyayari sa min ni Romeo ay dahil na rin sa katangahan ko.

Ganito, last July umuwi na si Diane for good. Sabi niya sakin, may sakit raw sha. Tapos ako naman dat time tumigil yung mens ko for 3 months because of stressed. Then sabi ni Diane baka paerho kame ng sakit, pero mas maganda kung sa Pinas ako papatingin. Nagpapa-checkup ako sa doktor dito pero medyo malabo ang paliwanag.

Yun pala, buntis sha. And true nga nagpakasal na sila last month ni Edcel, yung bf niya. Pero nalaman ko lang iyon, makailan lang. During those times wala akong idea na buntis sha--ni hindi ko nga naiisip na ginagawa na pala nila yoon.

Then minsan mga end of July, may chance na nabanggit ko ke Romeo na may sakit ako. And sabi ko pa, "yeah, pareho kame ng sakit ni Diane!"

That time, since friend sha ni Diane eh alam na niya. Kaya shempre una niyang iisipin eh sinong nakabuntis sa kin. Sabi niya, "Eh ano ba kaseng pinagagawa mo sa buhay mo?" ..."Paano nangyari yan?"

Ako, na-offend ako doon, I mean, how dare him na sabihin yun eh never naman akong nakikipag-do, eh tapos pagbibintangan akong ganon!

So, ayun, nagkaasaran, and na-badtrip talaga ko, dinelete ko sha sa Friendster friends ko. I mean, how dare him!!

Malay ko namang scripted palang lahat itong mga party ni Diane and all. I mean, ok, fine, mas malaki yung problema nila, and it's none of my business naman di ba to interfere with that. And it's not my right to know about their lives either. Pero, ang point ko lang naman, sna di na lang sila nagconceive ng ganong moro-moro.

Hirap kase, I mean, naparusahan ako for having been so ignorant and for not judging people. Sna, there will be justice in this world.

ok, if ever Romeo would read this, sna he'll understand, and we can be friends once again.

-mG

Currently listening to: The day u said goodnight by Hale
Currently feeling: hopeful

I'm currently feeling down right now; not only because today's just 3 days shy from my 1st year here in Japan, but also because of the tons of workloads my professor's giving me. It's not actual study load but more of the usual wasting time in the laboratory and the attendance thingy.

Anyway, I'm not in the jovial mood to welcome my 1st year because for one I'M A FAILURE. You see, my main goal in coming to Japan is to live my life once again, something which I've lost throughout the endless heartaches and hapless situations I've been subjected to before.  But as obvious, I didn't come close in achieving this goal.

Although I'm quite successful in letting go of Sir Fidel, what I've done is just to search for that replacement killer in the person on Romeo. Ok, so maybe Romeo is the perfect remedy fit for such a role, since he's single, 23 y.o., and stupid in Mathematics (well, not really stupid but of course he's not a frontrunner in the field of computing for the highest congruent number and stuffs).

In summary, Romeo is everything I hope Fidel is not!

BUT, unfortunately...

Still, I didn't get my desired results. I FAILED! Shipai!

Afterll those prayers i've offered to St. Ignatius, Francis, Joseph, etc.. still I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not saying the Romeo is my only option because I've said to God that if it's not gonna be him, then at least someone who can be special.  It's very to live a single life. Of course, peepz would argue that at least I have the luxury to be what I want and to take full control of my life--but for me, it's positively drainingly.

This  made me remember one letter from Sir, he said:

"Don't allow other things to bring you down-- don't give other
people (and what they say) power over you; because when you do so you
diminish your control over your own life. " 

I appreciate those words but also it made me wonder if ever it is really the thing to do. I mean, the whole taking charge thing; maybe it's just giving me singleness of heart and courage to face the challenges but in reality, if I really wanted to change my life then I should let go of the control and let tide blow the sails of my fate.

Perhaps, it's time to let go off the rudder and just let God decide my destiny. 

But whatever, I still feel sad. 

-mG 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Currently listening to: Crazy for u by Sponge Cola
Currently reading: Small Solutions to Poly Eqns & Low Exponent RSA Vulnerabilities
Currently watching: About a Boy
Currently feeling: let go mood