shizukuxp

New nick name for *lolz* ansama ko talaga! pero suits him perfectly, tanong nyo pa ke Sempai Abby.

I wish, I can be friends with Romeo again. I'm missing him even when we're actually together. Lalo na when I make sleep over on his room, and we'll analyze lyrics of our favorite songs. :sigh: did I really scare him away? well, WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

i guess it's safe to assume that it's really Romeo that I love, and not Fidel. but what the hell? wala rin namang nangyayari samin? wish ko lang talaga na sana we'll go back to where we left of. ansaya nung Snow Incident namin. Parang yung sa song ni Christian Bautista, na Colour Everywhere! ganon ang na-feel ko. kaya lang, how ironic, Colourblind si Romeo. So, talagang ako lang ang nakaka-feel nung ecstasy that time.

sayang talaga. i think we really click well. sayang..

-mG

Currently listening to: Tonight I celebrate my love for you
Currently reading: My Numbers my Friends by Paulo Ribbenboim
Currently feeling: indescribable

shizukuxp

I forego the idea of joining the YMCA Speech Contest; afterall I would be virtually be insane to dove into such outright self-humiliation--Nihonggo speech contest is synanymous to suicide.

But the bulletin board in this dorm offers so much enticing treats and tricks. Right now, I'm eyeing the essay writing contest, which would test the mettles of any ounce of my writing skills. the good thing is; 英語で書いているがー大丈夫です。

http://web.kyoto-inet.or.jp/org/kicainc/contest/conteste.htm

がんばります。

-mG

Currently listening to: Hotline for Help by Vic Zhou
Currently reading: Vibrator
Currently feeling: わくわく

shizukuxp

God! Lately, I'm really busy with so many things; so many projects on the line; so many commitments; so many friends; so many of anything.

At least I'm not bored anymore but my thesis' fate is on the line here. I have no results yet, I don't understand Number Fields and Ideal Decompositions at all. I haven't decided on the computing software--Python is easy to learn cause its dynamic but I don't want to rely on NZMATH lib of course;  UBASIC is mastered by Abby but I guess a little low-level and barbaric interface; KASH on the other hand contains almost all of the functions I needed but it's basically a calculator and difficult to modify.

I also so many schedules for arubaito and I can't forego the lure of cold  cash. I reckoned that I cannot even earn this kind of amount in the Phil so I really have to make the most of my stay here.

To make matters worse, my good friend Diane is returning home for good, and I don't want to miss her last moments in Japan.  Romeo is still ignoring me like before but I can hardly care. Although maybe I still have feelings for him.

I think I'm dating my tutee cause last Friday we had a 1 hour English lesson in the karaoke. He even invited me for dinner and he's making moves to me. I don't know, I feel he's old at 30 and Japanese peeps disgust me.

Well, I gotta hurry back and cram a few hours of sleep. I have another date with another tutee in Yokohama around lunch time. Romeo is inviting everyone to go to the Phil independence day celebration but I won't be coming. Too bad! for him! I hope he realizes that he really likes me! I'm a loser!

-mG

Currently listening to: A Whole New World--Alladins theme
Currently watching: Dreamboy
Currently feeling: listless

shizukuxp

Yesterday, I was praying that this day would never arrive. But of course the fact that I'm writing this now means that my prayer's simply not meant to be.

MC returned from his trip abroad and worse, I'm the designated reporter for Cohen's seminar. Triple L Redux Algos sucks my fat ass. Once again, I failed to understand even it's bare definition. Managed to stall for 3 pregnant hours and made them hungry, so in the end, he gave up the day and we headed for lunch.

I felt sick; the desire to vomit stirs me completely. Probably I have a case of anemia, at the very best. You see, if it's just me, then I welcome death with open arms. But I have a family to support back in the Philippines. My mom's starting the business again after months of hiatus, so they're basically on the most fragile stages and there's yet an influx of cash to register.

Anyway, I proceed to attend class in Coding Theory and of course 10 minutes proved to be an eternity. I walked out of the room, strolled along the campus and finally ended up in the newly-erected gymanasium. Met a couple of boys and spontaneously did some 1st class flirting on one arbitrary being.

”プールがどこですか？”

He's not that good looking, but young, and healthy, and yummy, looks like a newly-bathe soccer player. He led me to the place and then I tried dawdling. It's not easy cause my Japanese not so good.

But surely, it's pretty exciting and I feel like a miner who suddenly discovered a gold mine. Now I think, I have found the perfect and sanctified reason to like Coding Theory.

-mG

Currently listening to: Colourblind by Darius Danesh
Currently reading: Not reading anything

shizukuxp

Got this from NBA.COM, (rob peterson) --> would made a great human interest story:

"When TNT's Charles Barkley yells "Gin-o-bili" he usually does so with joy and exultation.

When Renee San Miguel and Jorge Ramirez yell "Ginobili!" in the future, it could possibly mean one little boy has gotten into trouble.

You see, Renee and Jorge named their newborn son ... you guessed it, Ginobili. See, we told you this town hearts its team.

"We're big Spurs fans," Renee told 1200 WOAI's Bud Little last Monday from a San Antonio hospital room.

"We hope he lives up to his name and becomes a famous basketball player too," Renee said.

No pressure, kid. Though it will be cool, he'll be one of the few kids -- other than a million Chicago kids named Jordan and few named Buford (Rodney) -- who can wear with an authentic jersey with his first name on his back."

too bad, they beat me to the idea. i'm still searching for the right person to father my child. no sperm donors yet. :sigh: but if i ever i have a son, i'll probably think of something creative. name him after a b-ball player, or a mathematician, but not too obscure-sounding. ginobili is ok--and gino would be is nickname; how appropriate!

-mG

Currently reading: O'Hurley's Return by Nora Roberts
Currently watching: Ringu 0 in N2
Currently feeling: numb

shizukuxp

Nice, just nice! 2 months ago, I decided to finish my Masters thesisin UP. It wasn't that easy but I made considerable progress for the first few days or so. I draw down the schedule and in fact, I was several days ahead of what was planned. I saw myself grinning from ear to ear.

And then, I learned about Japanese Speech contest. It sounds like a good experience esp for someone like me who's been the laughing stock of Nihonjins and Firipinjins alike. Somehow, I felt like writing my best literary piece ever then translate it with the help of.. duh! I don't know. Even my tutor in Soshigaya thinks I'm nuts. And she's a SIFA member, mind you. I seek the help of some Firipinjin who's got 1-kyo level, and he thinks I'm nuts. Of course, my labmates think I'm nuts. Everybody thinks it's impossible. And in the end, I have to give up--I think I'm nuts.

Ok, so that's when I learned about an essay writing contest about my opinion on Japanese culture. The good news is that I can write in English; the bad news is so can every professional journalist and professional tourist in Japan. I browse through the site and read the articles of last year's winner. My piece looks amateurish and the chance of winning approaches nil.

 And so, compounded by everyday painful scenarios from the lab, my regular arubaito, my occassional poem and blog writing; I guess it's also means bye, bye to my hopes of earning an MS degree in UP. I know that this sem is the ultimatum--now or never! The 15 pages I typed down will be segregated to combustible garbage.

-mG 

Currently reading: Waiting for HP6
Currently feeling: discontent

shizukuxp

I look at my clothes - these are God's fabrics,

but God's fabrics worn off through the changing seasons.

I felt my body - this is God's divine gift,

but God's gift is tired and wearied.

I go to school - this is God's place for learning,

but God's place defeats its entire purpose

I talked to the Japanese - these are God's people

but God's people are constant source of stress and consternation.

I pick up my mobile phone - this is God's hotline for help,

but God's hotline is always expensive.

I study Number Theory - this is God's knowledge,

but God's knowledge is beyond my comprehension.

I let go of someone - that is God's wish,

but letting go has left me without purpose and direction.

I love another one - he is God's promise

but God's promise is a replacement killer.

I contemplate on my life - it is God's will

but God's will has been extremely painful

And so, I pointed to the sky - those are God's ears

but God's ears seem to be deaf to my prayers.

Currently listening to: My immortal by Evanescence
Currently reading: Introduction to Coding Theory by Van Lint by Van Lint
Currently feeling: depressed